Maybe a Little Patience too....

Lent. I love Lent. A time to reflect. That time in the church calendar that calls me to be still and shut the hell up. Those of you who know me know of my love…LOVE…for the liturgical calendar. It speaks to me in ways I can’t explain and has since I figured it out in my small Methodist church in Knoxville. I asked my mother why the colors were green and she said she didn’t know but we should find out. She was Baptist and most Baptists don’t follow such things. Too Catholic my grandmother always said.

But Mom and I found out together. And I have not ever looked at the world the same again.

Lent is usually a time of “giving up” something. I choose to take on something since every time I give up something I think I fail. So I take on a practice. One year was water. I never drank enough so that year I drank so much I couldn’t help but go to the bathroom every hour on the hour. My kidneys LOVED me.

This year I decided to call my family. As an only child and one whose parents are both deceased, family is a precious and elusive entity to me. It has bothered me a lot this year. I am far away from my hometown of Knoxville (well farther than I usually am). My Other Dad, Sam is older and frankly drives me a little nutty with his sermons. And he does sermonize on how we don’t know the Bible enough, preachers don’t preach it enough, Israel needs to be protected and is my car ok. I love him. Truly, madly, deeply, I love him. He taught me so much about the Bible, about faithful living, about car care, about people and how to treat them. I think he even taught me how to flirt. And how to wear a ball cap.

But he tries my patience. And reminds me why I needed to do this call thing anyway. As a way to remember who is important and maybe to remember who is it that loves me even when they know I took their gospel lessons and turned them on their head. I re-interpreted lots of things he taught me. I heard God loves everyone. God created everyone. God will care for you. The church matters. Only I think Sam is a little more exclusive about God and who God cares for. I missed that part of the sermon message.

But I called. I will call him again next week. Because he makes me laugh and he makes me cry when he tells me he loves me. He knows me since I was a baby. Was there when I was born and was one of the first people to hold me (#4, I think after Mom, Dad, and Dot). I need patience with him now. But I think I need HIM more.

When is Lent over?!

Shoes

I wrote this for a class reflection. We reflect a lot around here. Too much sometimes. I am a little anxious today. For reasons that are obvious. I graduate in May with hopes of a job over the summer and hopes of an internship in August that will pay me for a bit. But hopes don't always pay the bills. I get anxious over all of that and all of sudden I get anxious. Maybe it won't last too long. The reflection part is for a Field Education class where we are "encouraged" to do a spiritual discipline. We don't do very well with disciplines really. I picked walking cause I know I do that on a fairly regular basis.



Reflection on Shoes, Part I


Shoes
The tales you could tell about where you have been
The things you have collected that I missed along the way
The grounds on which we walk, what has it seen and taken on from us?
From others.
Ground called “hallowed”.
Ground “condemned”
Ground poisoned
Ground lush with food
Ground called home
Stomping ground
Named by what happens there, who lives there, who dies there.

Shoes
These went across the sea to places of wonder and worship.
They were bathed in tears that day in the park.
They were washed in the blood of a child
They carry my weight and the weight of the world in which I walk.
Placed specially in a place as a reminder of all that is out there

Shoes
Protecting feet that walk too much in death
Supporting knees that ran too much too young
Teaching me to dance in love
Carrying me into an intimate place where it is just me and Thee
Where I am cared for, loved, named, and held. On hallowed ground simply because I am present